NFL Power Rankings

AFC

1. Indianapolis Colts (11-0) - Will people stop predicting the inevitable crash and just know that it's not going to happen? They just find ways to win over and over.

2. San Diego Chargers (8-3) - After the licking they put on KC today, Indy should be worried about having to face these douchenozzles in the playoffs again.

3. Cincinnati Bengals (8-3) - Nice recovery this week against the lowly Brownies, but it was just the Browns after all. Nice to see Larry Johnson can still run for 100 yards.

4. New England Patriots (7-3) - They'll lose to New Orleans this week and drop to 7-4, but they're still going to be in this spot.

5. Denver Broncos (7-4) - They need Orton to stay healthy and they need their defense to be as dominant as they were against the Giants this week.


NFC

1. New Orleans Saints (10-0) - Like I said, they'll beat NE in a shoot out and stay right where they are. I can't wait to see what they'll do in the playoffs.

2. Minnesota Vikings (10-1) - Damn that Favre. Damn him! Who the fuck does he think he is? Ponce DeLeon?!

3. Dallas Cowboys (8-3) - They're starting to pull away with the division and the way they're playing, Philly stands virtually no chance of catching them.

4. Arizona Cardinals (7-4) - They would have been #3 if they'd have beaten Tennessee, but let's face it, the Titans have been hot and the Cards were playing without Kurt Warner.

5. Green Bay Packers (7-4) - Is it me or did the Pack very quietly sneak up to 7-4? With a defense missing two key players for the rest of the year, it's Aaron Rodgers carrying the load and he's proving how good he really is.

AFC/NFC Top 5's after 9 games

So there were some who separated from the pack and others who just plummeted into reality...the reality of their suckdom. There were the pretenders and the ones who cemented their place at the top. So, here there are...

AFC

1. Indianapolis Colts (9-0)
Is there any doubt that Peyton Manning is the guy you want with 2 minutes left and the game on the line? When it seemed like they were down and out, they pulled it together, gutted it out and beat New England. Now THAT is the mark of a winner.

2. Cincinnati Bengals (7-2)
Yes, they are for REAL. A sweep of Pittsburgh and a swarming defense that seems to get better and better each week. This is going to be one of the most dangerous teams in the playoffs, since no one will give them a chance...except themselves.

3. San Diego Chargers (6-3)
They have quietly clawed their way back into a tie for the division lead with Denver, but Denver should be worried. This is another dangerous, hungry team with a gritty, accurate QB in Philip Rivers. Don't be surprised to see them in first by the end of the season.

4. New England Patriots (6-3)
They showed their vulnerabilities against the Colts and they aren't the dynasty they were, but they will be in the playoffs at the end of the year...and no one should forget what Tom Brady is capable of...even though I hate the son of a bitch.

5. Denver Broncos (6-3)
I grudgingly place them slightly ahead of the Steelers. They still have their defense in tact, but when you can't hold off Jason Campbell and the Redskins, you have to wonder. Also, if Kyle Orton is out for any length of time, they could be in a boatload of trouble.


NFC

1. New Orleans Saints (9-0)
Yes, they battled to beat the Rams, but they did win in the end. They continue to grind out the wins and their takeaway ratio is through the roof. However, Brees has looked surprisingly human over the last 4 games, so the offense has better get it together, because someone's knocking on the door...

2. Minnesota Vikings (8-1)
...and it's Brett Favre and the Vikings. I don't know what Favre did to get himself in game shape in such a short time, but he must really want one more Super Bowl. This team has been nearly flawless on both ends of the football and I keep waiting for them to slip up...but they haven't. They might not.

3. Arizona Cardinals (6-3)
Despite early challenges from Seattle, Kurt and company came through...and it was rookie RB Beanie Wells who shouldered the burden. The Cards with a running game? I don't think they'll have any trouble repeating as NFC West champions.

4. Dallas Cowboys (6-3)
The rest of the pack is muddled at this point, and Dallas only slightly rises above. They have the talent on offense, yet could only muster 7 points against Green Bay. The NFC East has gone from the best division to a very average, very disappointing division.

5. Carolina Panthers (4-5)
An interesting choice, but...they've been pulling it together and look a hell of a lot better than ALL of the 5-4 teams. Records can be deceiving and the Panthers are better than their record. Delhomme has gone three games without a turnover and the running game has been outstanding. Could they finish 10-6 or 9-7 and make the playoffs? I think so.

NFL top 5's - AFC and NFC

After this week's games, there's some flip-flopping going on amongst the teams I think are the best in the league right now. This is the first week that I'll be listing them.

AFC

1. Indianapolis Colts (8-0)
2. Cincinnati Bengals (6-2)
3. Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2)
4. New England Patriots (6-2)
5. Denver Broncos (6-2)

Call me biased, but can you tell me that any of the other teams listed here are better than my Colts? Nope, you can't. Not only are they one of only two teams left that are undefeated, but they keep finding ways to win. What is impressing me most about them is what new defensive coordinator Larry Coyer is doing with the defense and rookies like Jacob Lacey. They are only going to get harder to beat. Cincinnati is for real. Ask Baltimore how they victimized them this week. Pittsburgh is surging and will be very dangerous down the stretch. As much as it pains me, you simply can't count the Pats out. Denver barely squeaks into the top five. Limps, is more like it. They are on a two game losing streak and San Diego is nipping at their heels.


NFC

1. New Orleans Saints (8-0)
2. Minnesota Vikings (7-1)
3. Arizona Cardinals (5-3)
4. Dallas Cowboys (6-2)
5. Atlanta Falcons (5-3)

My NFC top five might stretch it a little...but hear me out. Philly and the Giants proved to me that they're just not good enough to be top five. Philly is too inconsistent and New York, well...they're just not as good as they might think they are. Atlanta snapped a losing streak and climbed into number five, and rightfully so. Michael Turner is a monster and Matt Ryan is regaining focus. Dallas had an impressive win, but...I'm still not totally sold, which is why Arizona is my number three. Let's face it, would you want to face Kurt Warner in the playoffs? I didn't think so. He came back from one bad game by throwing FIVE td's against Chicago. Scary. It also pains me to put Minnesota at two, but they are good enough to be there...even though I HATE HATE HATE Brett Fucking Favre. The Saints...will probably end up in the Super Bowl. When they don't blow you out, they grind it out. That team has a lot of character.

Once again, it was a choice between a douche and a turd sandwich...

The NJ governor's election, that is. I voted for 'none of the above' and went with Independent Chris Daggett. I knew he wouldn't win, but I still voted for someone I could actually get behind. Corzine? Didn't like him from the start. Didn't vote at all the last time. He probably ranks among the worst governors in my lifetime, in my opinion. He was terrible. Inept. Useless. He cut funding for countless things and yet we were still in debt. Hmm. And try this one on for size: McGreevey laid the groundwork for this shit storm. That greasy bastard was every bit as crappy. The only Democrat I would have voted for didn't want to run, and that was Codey. Now, Chris Christie? Fat asshole. Just hearing him speak and looking at him, I knew he was a phony and scumbag. I expect more arts programs and what not to be cut while his fat ass is in office. What really kills me though...is that fact that a good majority of VOTERS are so completely misguided and idiotic that they go to a voting booth and vote one party only. These are the types that don't bother reading about the issues, what the candidates stand for, etc. They just vote the way they've always voted. In this bunch, lump the older people and people who consider themselves one way or the other, meaning conservative or liberal. You know, you can be conservative and STILL have an opinion...and vice versa. You can't complain about this crappy, two party system when you continue to vote the SAME WAY every fucking year. Only once, in my recollection, has a state decided that they'd rather not go with the status quo, and that was when Minnesota elected Jesse Ventura their governor. I wish that guy would run for President...I'd vote for him. Of course, he's as disillusioned with the system as people like me, so that will not happen, and it's a shame, as he has a lot of good ideas, believe it or not. So yeah, now we're stuck with Christie...wonderful. Fat asshole. I knew Corzine was going to lose, but I thought that MAYBE...MAYBE, this state would take a chance and move away from the norm. I should have known better.

But I'm learning as I go, don't you know there are days when it hurts so bad...

So I've been working at crap job and busting my ass at the new house to try to get things finished. It's been extremely tiring and not quite rewarding yet. To be honest, I won't be satisfied until it's all done and all of the furniture and all of the crap we own is in there. At that point, I might be able to appreciate it more. Maybe. There is also this anxiety of how the fuck we'll pay for everything...mortgage, bills, etc. To think about these things all the time is depressing as all fuck and I can't seem to control that aspect, either. I think about it every day. Also, let's pour on top of this shit stew the fact that my job is horrible, pays for crap and is responsible for 60% of the stress and aggravation that happens in my life. I am off today and tomorrow, so I hope to get as much painting done as possible. On the plus side, the one room that will be a sort of 'dressing room' (it's sort of connected to the main bedroom) won't need to have the wallpaper torn down, since my test of painting it was successful. (IE- The paint dried well on said test spot.) So, no more tearing down wallpaper...except for the border in the bathroom...and the backdrop in the kitchen, which is going to be a MAJOR pain in the ass. This really sucks...but I know it needs to get done, so I'm trying to suck it up and just get it done. I've been quite exhausted...only last night did I finally get a legitimate good night's sleep. I would like one month of coma-like sleep. Just one month...and someone to turn me over once in a while.

So in checking my e-mail today, I saw that I'll be getting a cd from Lala that I've been coveting for a while: Amie Miriello's "I Came Around". So...I'm pretty excited about that. Lala is a great trading site. More music related...new Paramore, I liked. New Yorn and Johansson, was pretty good. I still have to listen to the new Alice In Chains. I'm still loving Greg Laswell's "Three Flights From Alto Nido", and he has a new covers EP out right now that has a terrific version of Kristin Hersh's "Your Ghost" on it...and it's not easy to cover Kristin and have it be convincing, but Greg gets a thumbs up for doing what most people can't. Also still big with me are Anya Marina's "Slow & Steady Seduction: Phase II" which is one of my favorites of the year...as is Breanne Duren's self titled album. Breanne has one of the sweetest voices I've ever heard. Her album is quite entrancing. If you don't know who Breanne is, do investigate. She does some guest spots on Owl City's "Ocean Eyes" album and sings with Jamestown Story, as well. I've also been listening to Vixtrola a lot lately...90's alt-rocker Jamie Blake is in Vixtrola. Their album "End:User" was never released, but can be found on the internet fairly easily. They are most famous for the song "Gunboat" (a totally kickass song), which was in the movie Darkness Falls. They blend electronic, pop and rock into a nice little package. The title track is seductive.

I plan to concentrate on my writing more over the next two to three months. I've been a bit lax with it lately and I need to spend more time on my own craft for a while and remove myself from publishing for a while. I put out the last book of the year for Maverick Duck this month: Adrienne Odasso's "Devil's Road Down", which is selling well. I think it'll be well received. It's a solid book. Adrienne is also the featured poet on Chantarelle's Notebook this month. I still have some manuscripts to read (some to re-read and make a decision on) and they'll be considered for next year. Mainly...I think I need to rededicate myself to my craft and figure out if I can get any better...if it's worth the time I've put in. Sometimes, I don't feel like I'm very good at all.

Well, I must shower and get some food shopping done with C and then head over to the house, where my friend Don plans to meet us. He helped a great deal yesterday. I provided pizza and beer for dinner, but I don't think it's enough appreciation for his efforts. Anyway, I'm off.

The man takes away my cloves...

So this revelation might not be a big deal to many, but I always found clove cigarettes to be a bit of a treat. I don't smoke often...hardly ever really, but I always kept a pack of Djarum Specials in my coat. If I didn't smoke them, I kept them for the smell of clove, which I happen to love. Anyway, our President in all of his wisdom (and hypocrisy) signed a bill called the Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act. This bill is enforced by the Food and Drug Administration and it bans "candy and fruit flavored cigarettes". This includes my beloved cloves, or kreteks, as they're also called. Here's the exact statement from the FDA:
…a cigarette or any of its component parts (including the tobacco, filter, or paper) shall not contain, as a constituent (including a smoke constituent) or additive, an artificial or natural flavor (other than tobacco or menthol) or an herb or spice, including strawberry, grape, orange, clove, cinnamon, pineapple, vanilla, coconut, licorice, cocoa, chocolate, cherry, or coffee, that is a characterizing flavor of the tobacco product or tobacco smoke.
So basically, they're saying you can have plain old tobacco taste or menthol. Hmm...and the reason why is...
FDA’s ban on candy and fruit-flavored cigarettes highlights the importance of reducing the number of children who start to smoke, and who become addicted to dangerous tobacco products. FDA is also examining options for regulating both menthol cigarettes and flavored tobacco products other than cigarettes.
So...you think you can police cigarettes and tobacco companies? You want to take away flavored cigarettes so that children won't be enticed to smoke? Hmm...what a flimsy basis for a ban. So then...will a ban on donuts be coming soon? How about all kinds of candy? What about brownies or potato chips or bacon? How many things that are bad for you can they force you not to have? Big Brother continues watching...lest we forget that tobacco helped to build this country? Yes, I do believe that tobacco companies try to target certain groups of people, but I don't think that said people are stupid enough (or maybe I'd LIKE to think they aren't stupid enough...) to have someone or something think for them. In a perfect world, parents would be held responsible for the ill behavior of their kids. It's all in the upbringing...but, in America today, it's too easy to pass the buck than to take responsibility. My kid smokes? Blame chocolate cigarettes...advertising...the kid down the block. Well, that kid could be a little bastard that influenced your kid, so I'll give you that. Still, there's just no accountability. It's pathetic that the government feels the need to ban flavored cigarettes and kreteks as the cause for people under 30 smoking. It's just another way for the government itself to pass the buck...to shirk the blame for their own inadequacies. Now, I've never been one to stand in the corner of tobacco, even as an ex-social smoker and occasional clove smoker. I think the idea of smokeless diners, bars and coffeehouses is definitely the way to go. I don't think that people who smoke should have the right to force their will on non-smokers who are at these places to eat, listen to music (or drink) and drink coffee and chill out. However, you can't police what someone does in their own home. If I want to dance around my house in a tutu singing showtunes, well, that's my right...and if I want to sit outside, in my yard and have a clove cigarette, it's also my right. So they also want to explore some sort of regulation on menthol cigarettes and other forms of flavored tobacco, potentially...this is just asinine. Also, let not forget the fact that our president is a fucking HYPOCRITE. What was your brand, Barack? Hmm? This is becoming a joke. Banning trans-fats in restaurants because fat fucks can't control their portions...because they show no restraint when they eat. I can't wait to see what gets banned next. Just put a fucking piece of tape over my mouth and break my fingers so I can't type, disallowing me the right to a fucking opinion. Control, control, control...so, when do we overthrow the government?

Two douchebags

So, while it was a great weekend for some favorites of mine in sports (the Colts, Seahawks and, of course, Kim Clijsters), there had to be two douchebags around to sully the moment. Naturally.

Case in point, Douchebag #1: Serena Williams. She's practically on her way to the douchebag hall of fame with the crap that's spilled from her mouth during her career, but she had an A-1 douche moment on Saturday night while playing Kim Clijsters in the semifinals of the US Open. With Kim up 6-4, 6-5 and Serena serving a second serve at 15-30, she was called for a foot fault. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's when your foot, or part of your foot touches or crosses the service line. This gave Kim two break points, and for that matter, two match points. Douche #1 decided it'd be a good idea to berate the line judge with profanities and threats. I've never even heard Johnny Mac use that kind of language on the court, and his tirades of the stuff of legends. Here's a brief video of it...








Now, if you can't make out what she first says, it's something very close to, "I should take this fucking ball and shove it in your fucking mouth." Also, she apparently threatens the line judge with "I could kill you". Nice. So, after the officials deliberated for a while, she was assessed a point penalty, which gave Kim the match, a 6-4, 7-5 victory. Now apparently, ghetto threats are only costing about $10,000, since that's all she was fined for. She should be suspended for at least six months. I feel bad for Kim, since she would have beaten her anyway, but didn't get to deliver the final blow. She just stood on the other side of the net wondering what the hell was going on. So Serena Douchebag never did actually apologize...until today. Here's something I found on Yahoo Sports:



It took 36 hours, one press conference, two statements and an appearance at the MTV Video Music Awards, but Serena Williams finally issued a legitimate apology for her tirade in a U.S. Open semifinal match.

Yesterday Serena issued a statement through the USTA that was striking in its stubborness and lack of contrition. Today, before she and her sister Venus were to play in the womens' doubles finals, Serena released a new, real apology:

"I want to amend my press statement of yesterday, and want to make it clear as possible - I want to sincerely apologize FIRST to the lines woman, Kim Clijsters, the USTA and mostly tennis fans everywhere for my inappropriate outburst. I'm a woman of great pride, faith and integrity, and I admit when I'm wrong. I need to make it clear to all young people that I handled myself inappropriately and it's not the way to act -- win or lose, good call or bad call in any sport, in any manner.

I like to lead by example. We all learn from experiences both good and bad, I will learn and grow from this, and be a better person as a result."

That's better. That's the statement Serena should have released yesterday.

Whether she means it or not is irrelevent at this point. It had to be said, if only to appease the masses and stop the hail of criticism being lobbed at her.

For what it's worth, the odds are that Serena doesn't mean it. It's more likely someone (either her handlers, sponsors or USTA bigwigs) got to her and let her know that a sincere-sounding apology was necessary to stem the backlash.

Serena has been defiant about the incident since it happened, even joking about it last night at the MTV Video Music Awards. It certainly doesn't seem like she's sorry for it. Rather, all of her actions and statements indicate that Serena still thinks this is about the atrocious foot fault call instead of her tirade.

Whatever she thinks (and only she can know that), at least Serena had the sense to finally issue a "real" apology. That's a start.

Update: And we're back to square one. After Serena and Venus won the U.S. Open women's doubles title Monday, Serena passed up a chance to apologize in person for Saturday night. Instead she babbled the same nonsense about loving her fans for "understanding".



Yeah, she really meant it. I'm not convinced and neither is anyone else. I'm tired of people making excuses for this beast. Make her an example. Now Kim Clijsters and the girl she beat in the finals, Caroline Wozniacki, are shining examples of how to carry yourself, how to be classy and how to be gracious in defeat. Wozniacki might only be 19, but she's first rate all the way...and everyone knows how well liked Clijsters is. It's one of the reasons why she's my favorite female player...that and her relentless style of play. Ok, on to douchebag #2...

And that would be Kanye West. What in fuck was this low rent moron thinking when he interrupted Taylor Swift's acceptance speech for Female Video of the Year?! Again, for those not in the know, watch this video...

MTV Shows

Now...the word is that he was drinking last night. What a fucking shock! Regardless, it's an ignorant thing to do to this girl who is just 19 and very well liked and clearly shocked at what happened to the point that she didn't know what to do or say. Props to Hayley Williams of Paramore and (believe it or not...) Perez Hilton for starting up "Team Taylor" on Twitter in support. Also to Pink who said, "Kanye West is the biggest piece of shit on earth. Quote me," she wrote. "My heart goes out to Taylor Swift. She is a sweet and talented girl, and deserved her moment. She should know we all love her." And then, there's Beyonce Knowles...who I don't even like, but gained some points in my book...

Fortunately, Taylor got another chance to complete her acceptance speech. When Beyonce accepted the Best Video Award for "Single Ladies," she invited Taylor back on stage.

"Wow, this is amazing," Beyonce said when receiving her award. "I remember being 17-years-old and up for my first MTV award with Destiny's Child. It was one of the most exciting moments in my life. So, I'd like for Taylor to come out and have her moment."

Taylor then joined Beyonce on stage and recited her acceptance speech, only making a subtle reference to the incident. Before rattling off her special thanks, she said, "Maybe we can try this again."

Way to go, Beyonce. Now that was a classy move. I don't even care if Kanye West is bi-polar, imbalanced or whatever...you just don't fucking do that. It wasn't amusing. It wasn't bewildering like Ol' Dirty Bastard interrupting Shawn Colvin's Grammy acceptance speech. It was just rude and clearly filled with vitriol. You know, maybe I should thank Serena and Kanye for giving me the fodder for another edition of "Douchebags" on my blog. Thanks for being the pieces of shit that you are, guys...really. This is KB for "Douchebags", where the morons with diarrhea mouth never really go away.